A real-live retro Brunswick ball return!

You think I'm kidding about the Beanie shop in the alley?

Only an alley with Alien Secretions and Jello shots on the menu could overcome the fact that there is a Beanie Baby wholesale outlet on the premises, right next door to "Don's Pro-Shop and Custom Airbrush". Eeeg. Though the front of the alley is lackluster and bears a strong resemblance to a shed, who can resist the pull of a 15' giant yellow bowling pin and custom airbrushed (Don's handiwork?) bowlmobile parked outside? The interior is genuinely retro with vintage Brunswick ball returns and a mural of pins floating in space. Wood paneling flanks the snack bar and elderly couples stroll by in yellow and green polyester pant suits. Drinks are available at the sports bar which, thankfully, did not appear to be airing sports on either of its big screen TVs. In case they actually are, you can sidestep the entire issue by utilizing the walk-up window and thus avoid entering the place entirely.

FWB Lanes stays open to the respectable hour of 2 a.m. and for $1.50 a game you can play till they shove you out the door. I have been informed that this place is so popular in the summer that they have a cover charge for patrons under 16. I assure you, it's worth it.